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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he admits. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually followed by a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice linked to the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through actions such as seeking admiration,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

While a significant majority of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings points out this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she says, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I often enter a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, he was directed to a therapist for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for psychological counseling through national services (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of online advocates and the development of virtual networks point to {more narcissists|a growing number